Category Archives: kalokohan

Countries with their slogans

America: Freedom for everyone.* (*Terms and conditions apply.)
Canada: Hey, we’re all friends. until the puck drops…
Germany: that was ages ago man, look at our cars
England: It’s always 1850 somewhere.
Switzerland: As long as we’re okay, we couldn’t give a fuck about anyone else.
The Netherlands: Sex, Drugs, and Cheese
France: You know that thing your girlfriend does? She learned it here.
Norway: Our schoolchildren beat your marines in a snowball fight.
Finland: Russia fucked with us… once.
Ukraine: We’re revolting! No seriously, send help!
Iceland: Pretty Cool
Sweden: Built on meatballs and Ikea allen wrenches
Belgium : We don’t even understand ourselves
Poland: Smart Enough To Build A Country Right Between Germany And Russia
Russia: Everything looks better with a drink!
Romania: Our vampires don’t sparkle!
Georgia: no not the one in America
Sealand: No, we’re a country, I promise!
Austria: Not Australia! Not Australia! NOT AUSTRALIA!!!
Brazil: Go for a run because it’s beautiful outside. Keep running because of a drive by shooting.
Chile: Pacific-blocking Argentina for two centuries.
Venezuela: The real danger is… well, everything.
Jamaica: We have a bobsled team
Cuba: Row row row your boat!
Greece: Western Civilization from cradle to grave
Iran: For the last fucking time, we’re not Arabs.
Nigeria: Permit me to inform you of my desire of going into business relationship with you. I have the believe you are a reputable and responsible and trustworthy person I can do business with from the little information so far I gathered about you during my search for a partner and by matter of trust I must not hesitate to confide in you for this simple and sincere business. I am the only son of millionaire man. Before the death of my father he told me that he has a sum of US$9,000,000(Nine million united states dollars) kept in a private security company here.
North Korea: Best Korea
China: we come from a long line of assembly.
China: GET OFF MY LAWN!
Vietnam: Best food, pho real.
Israel: fuck you, I do what I want.
Japan: Fuck you, whaaale! Fuck you, dolphiiin!
India: Hi I’m Dave from AT&T. How may I help you?
India: Everyone is already here
Middle Earth: The country previously known as New Zealand.
New Zealand: Where the men are men, the women are scarce, and the sheep are nervous
Australia: What does not kill you, does not exist in this land
Thailand: The best looking girls are guys.
United Arab Emirates – Las Vegas on steroids
Philippines: Our politicians are dumber and more corrupt than your politicians!
Philippines: At this rate, everyone in the world will be part Filipino.

Advertisements

Noche Buena

Occurred: College Days
Written: Dec 19, 2013

College student ako noon. Nasa jeep ako nung may mga batang nangaroling. Eto ang mga batang sumasampa sa mga jeep, kakanta at manghihingi ng mga barya.

Noche buena ang kinanta nila.

“Kay sigla ng gabi, ang lahat ay kay saya
Nagluto si Ate ng manok na tinola”

Hindi ko na matandaan kung ano ang iniisip ko noon. Bigla ko na lang sinagot ang bata nang wala sa loob ko.

“Buti nga kayo may handang tinola. Ako, wala pang allowance na dumarating.”

Nagtawanan ang buong jeep at ako ang pinagtatawanan nila. Hindi ko namalayan na napalakas pala ang boses ko.

At mabuti na lang mga bata ang nangangaroling. Kung may edad na sila, baka nagulpi ako.

end.

p.s. Salamat sa post ni Glentot dahil bigla kong naalala itong kuwentong to.

edi sunog tayo nun!

Occurred: Oct 9, 2013
Written: Oct 10, 2013

May fire drill kami nung isang araw dito sa aming sakahan. Pagtunog ng alarm, nagyaya ang dayuhang kasama ko.

x: let’s go to the basement/bunker quick!
spidey: aren’t we supposed to go outside?
x: but we went there last time.
spidey: ahm, that was a tornado drill
x: oh, my bad! hahaha!

sasagot sana ako ng “it’s okay” pero nadulas ako at nasabing: “at aking napatunayan na wala ngang kinikilalang nasyonalidad ang katangahan”.

lols!

Special To Do List Series 2

Written: Aug 19, 2013

Sa susunod na pupunta ako sa airport dito sa Minnesota, eto ang magiging itsura ko. Tatambay ako sa arrival area tapos itataas ko ang papel na yan. This is my dress rehearsal in my room. Please pray for my soul. Lols!

IMG_20130814_195042

She sells sea shells by the sea shore

How come he doesn’t need subtitles!? Lols!

In love, as in gluttony, pleasure is a matter of the utmost precision – update

Written: June 21, 2013

Time flies when you’re having fun. Masaya at bitin ang aking aking bakasyon. Tagumpay ang aking hit list. Pati ang sinigang na corned beef at fried kesong puti ng Sentro ay natikman ko rin. Mangyari ay pinapaitan lang ang hindi ko nakain.

Ngayon balik ako sa:

  • noodles (lucky me noodles from asian store)
  • spam o spam with egg (specialty ko. lols!)
  • fried rice at pho (sa vietnamese restaurant malapit sa aking apartment)
  • fried bangus (na nabibili ko sa asian store)
  • canned soup (na pinapapainit ko sa microwave)
  • chicken nuggets
  • hotdogs / corn dogs
  • cheeseburger with tater tots (sa office cafeteria)
  • at iba pang mga microwaveable na pagkain.

Nakakakain naman ako ng iba (at masarap na) lutuin pag nagkayayaang kumain sa labas. Pero yan ay kung sinipag akong lumabas.

Marami ang nagtatanong kung nagsasawa daw ba ako sa mga ganyang pagkain? Sabi ko hindi. Saka wala akong karapatang magreklamo kasi hindi ako marunong magluto. Hanggang prito at laga lang ang alam ko. Inuulit ko, hindi ako nagrereklamo. $&%#%$!

Mag-aasawa talaga ako ng lima para kahit tatlo lang sa kanila ang marunong magluto, solve na. Lols!

The Night I Almost Died 3: Episode 2

Basahin ang episode 1 dito.

Ang ginawa ni Cyril, dumiretso siya sa bahay ng tito niya malapit sa plaza. Paghinto, takbo agad sila ng pinsan niya sa bahay at kumatok ng pagkalakas lakas para magising agad ang tito nila. Bukod pa siyempre sa pagtili pagsigaw ng malakas. Saktong nagising ang tito niya nung dumating ang mga tanod. Mahigit lima ata yung mga tanod na humahabol sa amin. Read the rest of this entry